Hubby signed the divorce papers yesterday, and I signed them last week. He immediately called me afterwards, wanting to go out to dinner to "talk things over." I was already eating out with a girlfriend, and told him so. What he wanted to say actually took about 5 minutes on the phone. I knew had I actually met him for dinner (why would I want to do that to myself?), he would have said the same thing 20 times over. Hopefully, the divorce will be finalized sometime in the next month.
He sounded lost and sad, and I do feel bad for him, as I know he did not want this. But at the same time, I need to remind myself that it was his verbal abuse that caused this. I feel a bit lost and sad as well, but also feel like I have a chance for a new start, without anyone putting me down every day. I still care, but also know "things" have needed to take this route for quite awhile. I really do wish him well, but also need to take care of myself.
So for now, I guess I will just be "Lilly" for awhile, and find out what "she" is all about. Thinking I have needed to do this for quite awhile. I think I owe it to myself, now that I finally have the chance . . .
After so much
ReplyDeletethe end is difficult
its so.... final
we know its coming
we know its for the best
and yet, its "the end"
Glad you are taking care of yourself
live in the moment
that's my mantra these days...
There is definitely much to be said for living in the moment! Having fun exploring that right now . . . touching base with friends more and more, as I finally have energy to do that again!
ReplyDelete