The death of my ex spouse has shaken me to my core. It stirred up so many memories for me all over again, both good and bad. I sincerely hope he is finally at peace now. It was always very complicated!
However, I have thought about my life a lot since my post 2 days ago. Although I hurt so much I thought I couldn't go on living when our marriage ended (and I drank a lot for awhile, at least for me!), life HAS continued, and it has gotten better.
For the past few years, I have had a (boyfriend? significant other? partner?). He is very good to me, and has never "gone ballistic" on me, ever. He has his place, I have mine . . . and I like it that way. We have fun together. I don't want another husband or a full-time live-in. It feels much safer to me to keep it that way.
My old farmhouse still needs a lot of TLC, but it is taking shape. My mother's flower gardens are still being refurbished and added to, and the flowers give me a lot of joy. I have now added some fruit trees and bushes to the extensive yard, and am eagerly awaiting for them to bear cherries and berries. My elderly dad is still here, but we each have our own floor of the same house, which gives each of us our much-needed space . . . yet I still can help him when needed.
I have gained many new friends, several of whom love to dance as much as I do. That's how I met my special guy, as he became my dance partner. Our group of friends goes out almost every weekend to wherever the live music is, and dance away . . . and it is wonderful!
So . . . I am less broken than I was, and that is a very good thing!
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