Oh boy, the fun never ends . . .

Oh crap.  I went to a bar this past weekend, with my brother and some other friends.  I'm not a bar person . . . haven't been to one in many, many years.  Had all of 2 drinks, shot a game of pool, and enjoyed some dancing (with the girls!).  Hubby found out I was there, and now he is absolutely convinced I was out on a "date."  He is furious.  Couldn't convince him otherwise, and finally told him he could believe what he wanted, but he would still be WRONG!  

I am so not looking for anyone else.  Why would I want to do that to myself?  However, this has made me realize that I will eventually have to pursue a divorce.  ("Divorce" is such an ugly word!).  He is way too interested in where I am, what I am doing, and who I am with.  I can't let him continue to have that power over me.  After all, I have moved out, and have told him I don't plan on coming back!  In my efforts to not "hurt" him anymore than necessary, I am hurting myself.  Nope, this can't continue . . .

My New Journey

I am finally taking the leap, and starting this new blog, as the title of my old one doesn't exactly describe me anymore.  For those of you who really want to know how I got to this place in my life, please refer to this site, which was my first blog.  I started it a little over a year and a half ago to maintain my own sanity, and I "met" some very special people (fellow bloggers who let me know I was not alone) along the way:

http://type1d.blogspot.com/

As an (eventually ex?) wife of a type 1 diabetic, I finally had to make the decision to leave.  We are now unofficially separated, as of 4 months ago.  Not what I really wanted, but also felt he was leaving me no other choice.  I know I can't go back, as I will not be his verbal punching bag anymore. 

On bad days, I feel broken and damaged beyond repair.  This was my 3rd marriage.  3 strikes and you're out?  What the hell is wrong with me, that I can't seem to finally get it right, at least once???  And how can I avoid making the same bad choices again??? 

On good days, I am excited about new possibilities and opportunities.  At present, I am working on creating an upstairs apartment in my elderly dad's old farmhouse.  He really shouldn't be alone anymore, and I would have the whole upstairs to myself.  Hopefully, it will work out for both of us.  Much work still remains to be done before I can make that final move. 

In the meantime, I am still living in my RV in my brother's back yard, on the family farm, which is an adventure in itself!

For now, I am working on figuring out exactly who I am, and who I want to be.  After 13 years of trying to please someone who cannot be pleased, I'm thinking it will take awhile!  Never thought I would be starting over again in my mid-50's . . .

Here's to my new journey being a good one,

Lilly